Today was not so hot.

So I am going to take my anger out on the English language.

1.) Moisturizer. Bastardizer. Butcherizer.
2.) He said he was French, begging the question, where did he get a German accent?
3.) Jill owned the table, Jack owned the chair.
4.) I don’t know to whom I should address this letter to.
5.) To be or to not be.
6.) Because of its enigmatic origins, the diamond was highly-desired.

Take that, pedantry!